bolts of gray.

could I be any gayer?

2006-11-03T05:33:38Z

booooooo, but I need to start writing again.

2006-11-01T23:07:37Z

You say take this, then shove it down my throat,
I see the letter and read the note you wrote,
and now I can't feel anything other than the
cold stare coming in my direction.

So I turn, but I'm faced with my reflection.
so I scream and cry until I can't speak.
You knew that was how you'd get me weak.

So you lift me up, and dig my grave,
throw me in and give a wave, and you smile,
but it's not sincere. It's the last straw, and
I dissapear.

My spirit see's you cry, but it's just an act
to fool the masses, you hang your head while
walking to classes
so people wont suspect.

The one who killed me had the most respect.
But now your guilt is catching up
for everyone to see.
They know i'm in your bloodstream
and they know how you killed me.

why am I doing this?

2006-10-31T02:28:14Z

P E R I O D 2:

-What class is it?
english sat. prep

-Who sits to your right?
jorge.

-Are you failing this class?
noooooo

-Is this your favorite class?
not at all.

-Who do you sit in back of?
teresa, who wont keep her hair off my desk.
I don't understand how people can just have their hair all over your fucking desk and be cool with it. and its not like i can just be like "yo teresa, get your disgusting hair out of my binder". it's extremely annoying.

-Who do you talk to the most?
myself.

P E R I O D 3:
-What class is it?
math

-Is your best friend in this class with you?
one of them =).

-Do you hate anyone in this class?
hmmm. yes, but its only petty hate.
I don't actually HATE anyone in the class.

-Are you allowed to eat in this class?
I don't eat in the class, but I probably couldn't if I wanted to.

P E R I O D 4:
-What class is it?
lunch/chem

-Who is your teacher?
Smirlis

-What do you do during 4th period?
during lunch, basically nothing, and during chem
I try to listen but usually me and maddie just end up
throwing things at each other.

-Do you chew gum in 4th period?
if i have it, sure.

-Anyone you want to shoot during 4th period?
90% of the class.

-what is your 5th period class?
chem

-who sits behind you?
no one

-do you have friends in this class?
yess =)

what do u have 6th period?
SPANISH, my arch nemesis.

-who is your teacher?
lima

-who sits to the right of you?
uhh taylor

-do u like this class?
i hate it with a firey passion.

7th period

what do u have?
health

- who do u talk to this period?
uhh my table I guess.

- do u like this period?
ehh. its not the worst period.

8th period
-is this your favorite period?
possibly. I think so. chem has it's days when its amazing, but for the most part its pretty boring. I like english because ms. jackson schools basically my whole class, besides me and about 4 or 5 others, on their general existances every day and its really amusing.

-what class is it?
english

- who is your teacher?
ms. Jackson

- do u hate anyone in this class?
ehhh. I only like a few people, but i dont really hate anyone.

9th period
-what class is it?
us history, also my arch nemesis, but in different ways.

-is it your least favorite class?
yes. >:O which sucks because social studies is actually my favorite subject. but like, there are only about 5 kids in the class who can read on a highschool level, and im pretty sure the rest are stuck at 4th grade. so it sucks.

-do you like your teacher?
yes, she's ms. walsh is really nice.

DO THIS >:O

2006-10-27T02:05:47Z

so, Chris Connolley on Nov. 21st?
yes plz.

anyway,

Put your Ipod on shuffle and pick a lyric from the first 20 songs that come up, then post them here for people to guess.

1. They say California is a recipe for a black hole. Well I say I've got my best shoes on. I'm ready to go.

2. When there's nothin to loose and theres nothing to prove, and i'm dancing with myself.

3. you make fun, yet I'm the one attempting to do some good, or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop everynight?

4. It's a chore holding onto a vision, don't leave her high and dry, she's the one you'll be missing.

5.You're so heavy, you're so warm, just a pillow I've used 1000 times before, wrapped in velvet and filled with thorns.

6. Cause when you're standin oh so near, I kind of lose my mind.

7. Little darlin, it's been a long cold lonely winter.

8. Godbless the daylight, the sugary smell of spring time, remembering when you were mine, in a still suburban town.

9. Opened up your screen door and threw me off of the porch, it was summer then and I drove home whisteling down the pike, and that was that, our one sweet night together.

10. Choose the highest bidder was my answer when they told me I was up for sale.

11. These are the days it never rains, but it pours.

12. when the planning stages and the fallen faces are the singular proof it was ever alive

13. It feels like I'm starting all over again, the last three years was just pretend.

14. For our first date, we went to Deny's, we saw my grandma there and she said she liked your spikey hair.

15. I felt the wind on my cheek, coming down from the east and thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees.

16. Sister soldier you've been such a positive influence on my mental frame, if I could ever repay you I would but i'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks inititiave.

17. anyone knows an ant cant move a rubber tree plant.

18. I never met a pearl quite like you who could shimmer and rot at the same time through

19. Here's lookin at you kid, hard to forget. Here's lookin at you kid, at least not yet. Your memory stays, it lingers ever. Fade away never.

20. And if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die, and if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side, well, the pleasure the priveledge is mine.

cooooooooooooooool.

YOU DIDNT VOTE FOR PAC-MOLE!?!?!?!?!

2006-10-24T21:42:19Z

today was amazing by all accounts.
the test wasn't too bad at all.
lunch was good.
chem. was some of the funniest things that maybe i've ever seen in real life.
spanish was blechh, but eh. it was alright.
7th period I found out mr. towers called home. but even that wasn't bad.
and thennnnnn 8th period and 9th period were kind of boring, but it was alright anyway.

me and ms. walsh shared some comments after class.
lmfao, she's nice.

this isn't a typical lisa b. post, but im tired.
peaaaace<3.

each night before you go to bed my babyyyyyy

2006-10-20T21:38:21Z

so, the last few days have been pretty good.
Psats wednesday were decent. I was in alyscias room
and watson was my sub for half of it, and he kept mouthing words at me
and i had no idea what he was trying to say lmao. and then at the end of
the period he goes "cutter". pfft.

I didn't really want to go to the rest of the day, but it was alright.

Thursday was a big blur. I don't really remember what happened lmao.
nothing significant though.

Today was nice. Mrs. Desario was in a good mood, so I didn't get the life sucked out of me 3rd period and then have to try to live for the rest of the day without a soul.

chem was kind of good. It would have been better if it wasn't 700 degrees but anytime where I don't have to hear mr. smirlis lecture is good.

WE DISCOVERED that mr. lima looks like the hispanic Ted from Scrubs.
stole a poster lmfao.

hmmmmnyah, I was talking to mrs. jackson in the hall.
even though she blew up my spot the other day, I think she's my favorite teacher this year. she's nice. I like english teachers, haha.

ummm what else? nothing, really.

I've discovered that nice outfits shape whether my day will be good or not lmao.
so I'm going to try to dress better during the week lol.

I think im done.
NO! im lying.

I'm really upset that the mets lost, and im not too sure why.
I guess it's because it never happens, and it makes me family really happy when they win. or maybe it's just because for some reason I was totally convinced that they were going to, but the fact that they lost hit me pretty hard.

& im out of my mind.
peacee<3.

WOAHHH OHH OHH SWEET LOVE OF MINEE.

2006-10-15T04:46:03Z

so. I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to take the SATS.
it was kinda rediculous. I omitted like every math problem lmao.
english was alright.

thennn I came home for like 2 seconds, I took a nap haha.
and then went to work.
It was actually pretty good.
I love working with kevin. he's so funny lmao.
like today he just randomly comes up to me
and is like, rambling some cracked out sentance in spanish.
and then he stops abruptly and is like "I love the spanish ladies, they're all fucking crazy". and like. idk but it was the funniest thing ever.
and then he was like "i don't know who's my favorite".

My favorites are Yesenia, and the guy that closes. I think his name is carmine.
idk but he's like the nicest man ever. lmao
and tonight he was like "Hi Lisa how are you", lmao and idk. and then everytime I passed he'd be like "hello lisa".

anddd. like right after my break.
we were all like. congregated around alyscia's register.
haha, idk i liked it.

hmmsdfjkalskdf.
I want to hang out tomorrow.
drop a line with planss?
<3.

like you've never cooked bacon shirtless?, BULLSHIT.

2006-10-14T03:23:39Z

so, I got a new layout.
I really enjoy it.
school was alright today, but I would have liked to hang out afterwards.
however I did take the best nap ever.

I have to take the sats tomorrow morning.
I am not excited.
I have work then after that.
I kind of want to go.

fandjalf Idk. I don't understand why i never write in here anymore.

>:O,ish

2006-09-29T20:19:28Z

so I wrote an enourmous saves the day post
and i was on my last paragraph when my computer restarted
so no ones getting it ever =(. sorry.
but steph, ill definatly send you the pictures and my little 5 second video.

today was pretty good, despite some stuff.
5th period mr. smirlis was out again and we had our little corner
of doing nothing
it was fun times.
than me and maddie rly didnt want to go to spanish
so we went to watson and jen
and chatted for quite some bit
and he gave us a pass and we didnt get to spanish until like the 22 minute bell.

I think im trying to re-create last year but its not working
because im not who i was last year.
but I don't know, ive been longing for so much more lately.
I mean, the people are amazing
I just want to take our amazing people and add other amazing people to it
and do amazing things with them
instead of.. what we're doing.

maddie will probably know what im talking about =)

but yeah, brittany said something to me today that I didn't really appreciate
even though it was true so i cant really be mad
but yeah, i'll get over it, because its just the way she is and i know that.

alright, i think im gonna go.
<333

best night of my life.

2006-09-22T11:36:44Z

I'll go into further detail after school today.
=)

oh my gayy.

2006-09-16T17:11:20Z

i want to do something today.
look alive guys.

ZEROS ANNDDDDD... ones.

2006-09-06T19:45:30Z

so. my bangs are coming off by the end of the year.
because i suck at math
and mrs. desario will rip them straight out of my head.
she'll start sucking air in through her nostrils and it will just vaccum the hair right off.

my scheduale is kind of gay.
I have 2 classes with maddie, but one of them is desario.
but its good so that at least one person has sympathy for me when i get called on.
and spanish, lmfao.
with mr. lima's velvet voice.
but then my other classes are kind of gay.
theres no one in my sat prep class
or social studies. but mes is really funny. but like, lmao. he's kinda corny, a bit. but its alright. SEVENTH. there is no one. not a soul. and i have gym and i have to swim, and its fucking gay. and then 8th i have jen ^.^ & dave, but im a little embaressed of him b/c of his hair. lmfao =x. bad person.

i've been meaning to take pictures
but i dont have lunch w/anyone so theres no opportunity.
i guess ill just do homework in lunch or something. or listen to my ipod, its only 22 mins.

getting out 8th is fantastic.
but i need to get the routine of getting RIGHT OUT of the fucking school.
b/c by the time i get to my car its like 2:20. lmfao.

I missed my first homework already
in spanish lmfao. but whatever.

i think im done.

kinda cool.

2006-08-31T01:26:32Z

I made a real entry
but my computer restarted
so now all you're getting is the survey. lmao

,

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.
lmao like everyones not gonna get that?

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

& velvet goldmine is in there, even though no ones ever seen it besides me.
lmao i just had to throw it in.

finally.

2006-08-28T04:12:58Z

okay so.
the last month of camp.
was like totally filled to the brim with drama.
because of kristina veraline.
because one day we weren't being nice enough to her.
and then the next day we were walking off too much or some shit.
and then the next day we were "stealing her tips"
(which we were not.)

so yeah, it pretty much sucked.
but i really love nikki green and laura capecci<3<3.
we hung out a lot this summer.
& i fully intend on hanging out with them during the school year.

I got my first real job last week.
@ panera bread.
and it was scary cause i had no idea what i was doing
and i felt stupid.
becuase i was just watching my trainer help people lmfao.

butttt. i pretty much have the hang of it now.
the only problem i have is when a customer asks me something.
and i have no idea how to fucking answer.
but other than that im pretty decent.

i think this is a crappy come-back post.
but I plan on updating everyday now.
or at least when something important happens.

ill post some pictures later on.

<333333.
peace.

i haven't updated since the 29th.

2006-08-21T23:51:26Z

so. lmao this thing has been dead for a bit.
buttttttt, im gonna just jot down a little re-cap of my life soon.

lmaooo, yeah.
pointless? but i felt like i HAD to write something lmao.

heyyy I can't write anymore.

2006-07-30T02:10:40Z

She looked up at the dark night that surrounded her,
The hot summer haze long gone with the wind that was picking up,
And she was hopeless.

Alone she prayed her silent lonely nights would soon be forgotten;
A new life filled with danger and romance, she wished.

She kept looking and looking.
There was only one star in the sky that night; it was hers.
It wasn’t special or bright or big or handsome.

But it was it’s own and that’s really all that matters.

“Someday I’ll get outta this place”, she told herself,
as she twirled her long black hair and closed her brown eyes tight.

But deep down she knew that it was just a lie to pass the time.

pictures/video.

2006-07-29T21:14:20Z

mr. stange.

wtf?

sex hairrrr.

LMAOFRANKLINTURTLE. =x.

odddd.

girl running.
http://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a295/supmuthafuck/videos/?action=view¤t=P1010002.flv

the first fifteen seconds are amazing.
http://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a295/supmuthafuck/videos/?action=view¤t=P1010034.flv

LMAO after michelle superslapped the air.
http://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a295/supmuthafuck/videos/?action=view¤t=P1010043.flv

il my gurlz.
<3333333333.

and i'm dancing with myself.

2006-07-27T01:41:58Z

camp was so gay today.
like, the actual day sucked.
becuase I was so hot, and I forgot my bathing suit.
and then I got yelled at for wearing sandals, even though sup I see like everyone in the universe walking around without sneakers, and then I got yelled at for "always doing lanyard" even though I helped at every activity until they had it under control.

it was fucking gay.

and then coming home was worse.
anddddd the people who matter know why.
bleh, I really don't feel like typing it up.
but safjdsa. I hate my mom right now.

so I was all down about life, cause i'm not even into any of that anymore. and i wasn't even really into any of it to begin with, I just tried it.

my mom was like "im not even going to punish you I just want to get you help, I want you out of deer park highschool" and she's said things like that before, but I really hope she means it this time, because I live 7 blocks away from maddie and in walking distance with everyone who I love so I know we'd still be just as close.

I went to maddies like 20 seconds after I got home.
It was really good, alyscia and michelle went too.
we pooled.
and played jack
and watched life as a house.
and like, when I was walking there with alyscia and michelle, I cried about stuff. but then like, I put it away. I cried when I got to maddies house too, but after that I just decided to stop being fucked and I felt better.
but then after we watched life as a house I talked about it again
and I thought I was gonna cry
but I didn't.
but it made me feel a shitload better, just because I told them everything and they don't care.

I mean, they do. just like, they didn't judge me. Or think anything less of me. and I really appreciated and loved that.

<33333.
I think im done here, lmao.
jeez.

im over a really bad stage in my life.

2006-07-24T03:03:06Z

and its official.

I'm really done with feeling emotionally drained.
and Im looking forward to 11th grade without all this uneccisary baggage.